but in the back of your mind, did you keep thinking how easy it would be, to kill them instead? did that other instinct try to take over? when i've tried, i could not maintain any interest. i've been in a near constant state of pain and exhaustion and fear for so long. my body hates me. it's difficult to view it as an source of pleasure. for myself or for another.
i don't know, i didn't have time to think about it properly before it happened. or much time after either. it was during one of those trials. on a train. he didn't do it to be romantic. just to escape.
no subject
when i've tried, i could not maintain any interest. i've been in a near constant state of pain and exhaustion and fear for so long. my body hates me. it's difficult to view it as an source of pleasure. for myself or for another.
i don't know, i didn't have time to think about it properly before it happened.
or much time after either.
it was during one of those trials. on a train. he didn't do it to be romantic. just to escape.