no subject

You find someone you trust. Not necessarily entirely and not necessarily in anything more than a physical sense. After that first time, when I wanted to explore something, I did so with someone I already knew, that I knew would not be so easy to kill, that I had reasonable evidence did not want to kill me, and that I knew also did not intend for it to become some til death type of relationship. It did not put it out of my head, exactly, but it made it easier to balance with what else was happening.
It is also easier to not focus on that thought if the sex is good. If it's bad, you're doomed.

Then you deserve to have that.
I do not know if I have had the type of proper first kiss you mean, but I think, the more the comfort comes, the more the logistics slip away.