Whilst I understand the philosophical underpinnings to that mental simulation, such an enormous deviation is not of interest to me. It is so easy to get stuck in the past or down unhelpful mental rabbit holes, even for years at a time when on my own, that I try to focus such brooding on useful matters that will help me develop further. I cannot claim that I am always successful, but I personally must resist that inquiry in particular. I would hate for it to excuse my mistakes as they seem paltry in comparison to the horrors I've seen plenty of vampires commit.

[ Strange, perhaps, that he recoils from some philosophical matter, but as he said, he fears what it might do... and Mayerling is not one to relieve himself of the weight of his decisions, such as they truly are. ]