folkmeme | Truth Meme

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truth meme

Truth Meme

Somehow, there is kirin on you.

Most likely, it is the fur of the kirin that was caught in the environment of wherever you’ve been; there is a stray hair on you because one was on the seat you sat on upon the train or because it blew onto the brim of your hat in the wind.

Or it may be because you met the kirin—a playful ungulate moose-sized spirit who prefers not to speak—and engaged with him and gave him a pat, or a scratch behind an ear. Maybe the kirin nosed or licked your hand because you made him laugh (it’s an adorable ‘keh keh keh’ sound).

Unfortunately for both you and the kirin (who had not meant to trouble your day like this, truly), this exposure to his dander has only one reaction, and it happens to 100% of Star Children: you are compelled to tell the entire truth. About what is less specific; you are compelled simply to announce things about yourself—your life, experiences, thoughts, opinions, feelings. No matter if it’s something silly and inconsequential, deep or secretive, life-altering or commonplace. Some may choose to do this by employing Foxi and their relic; others by finding people to exchange truth with to face to face.

When you have met the kirin’s subconscious desire for four hours, you will be free from the truth telling and the recipient of 24 hours of good luck. The good luck will be sometime in the next year rather than in the next day, and you may have no idea where it came from, but you’ll know a lucky day when you have it!

This meme is game canon unless marked otherwise at the start of threads! Threads can be used for spoons and application samples.
Assume all characters involved on this meme are affected.
Characters will compulsively state truths about themselves/their feelings on the network or in-person. Top-levels may include either/both options.
Please include prompts in your top level.
All questions will be answered with complete and total honesty. No special abilities, half-truths, or omissions can avoid sharing all of the truth.
Meme is open until the next truth meme!
After one month, you may use the kirin mechanic generally in game. It can be one-sided! All truth-telling characters must consent.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Ava Starr," the reply is automatically triggered, but it only seems fair to give it in return now that she has Yelena's, even if it took three meetings in and compulsive truth telling. "But I'm more often known as Ghost."

She shakes her head. "No, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. But I... don't like being touched. Even if I'm the one initiating it, it still... I don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable, when I don't know or trust the other person very well. It reminds me too much of all the experimentation," she winces as the explanation dips in a bit too personal. It's sadly what happens when your body is treated as something others own, so she can only imagine Yelena experienced her own share of that horror.

"No. No, Bill... he. It wasn't his fault. He had no idea what SHIELD planned to do with me. He tried protecting me, advocating for me. He took me in after SHIELD fell. Researched tirelessly for a cure, built me new technology to slow the degeneration of my body. He promised..." Ava closes her eyes. "He did all that for me. Despite everything. Until I went too far."

"Ghost. Little bit on the nose, isn't it? I am not calling you that."

As much as it used to. So, then, presumably it does still hurt some, one way or another. One way or two, really. Yelena nods. "Don't do it, then. If this dredges up something else that prompts an urge to comfort. I appreciate the gesture, truly, but I do not want to have any part of causing that type of remembering. I'm back and forth on it, myself, touch."

"I did not mean to imply it was his fault. He sounds like a good one. Few enough people try to protect little girls." Would that turn out to be a harmful sort of statement or not? She couldn't tell. "I can understand why you would miss him."

"I didn't come up with it," Ava defends with a huff. "And maybe it's obvious, but it is fitting. Of both my abilities, and of what I'm meant to be, unknown and unseen. And more poetically, of how I'm trapped between realities because I refused to die-" and okay she sounds slightly embarrassed about that. Finding symbolism in her own alias. Ava rolls her eyes dismissively.

"Fine. I won't." And she should just leave it there. Would just leave it there. Except. "I wish I could, though. Touching things. It's always been such a struggle, often had to wear special gloves to help me grip. And now I can again. I like the feel of some things. When they're soft..." and god she looks so annoyed about all this.

"He's the only one that would hug me. Hold my hand. Treat me like an actual child, and not just a thing. But I... god, it hurt so much. I was dying and I was desperate. And I threatened to kidnap a little girl. He told me if I crossed that line, he was done with me. I think that's what hit hardest. Realizing that being a little girl never stopped anyone from hurting me. And that now I was older, that I was going to do- no, I wasn't going to hurt her. Just hold her hostage, as leverage from her father. So they'd give me back the lab. He told me no, and he told me to stop, that there were other ways, but I kept going because I was so close and I just needed it to be over. So I threw him out of the way, god, the only person I have, that loved me, and I did that to him. That's why I can't be around people, Yelena. He did nothing wrong, but I hurt him anyway." It all comes out in a rush, and ends with an ashamed sob, her shoulders trembling as she tries to hold back the tears but she can't.

"And I left. I never even said sorry."

Oh, there really is going to be no getting rid of her after this. "Okay, it is very good that you just said all that about not liking touching, because otherwise right now I would feel pretty compelled to offer a hug. If you were a Widow, I might even go so far as to try it anyways, because being thrown around is also basically affection for us, sometimes." She lowers her voice to say this, and otherwise remains very still, because it feels for some reason most appropriate to go along with these statements. "But also, being that there is a lack of better options... Generally, yes, it would be foolish if you actually trusted me at all, in these unique circumstances, I am the most trustworthy I have ever been, and I can honestly tell you that I will not hurt you, so. The option exists, and does not need to ever be spoken of again afterwards."

"Anyways. I do not think that means you can't be around people. You just need to be picky. When Natasha and I were reunited, we had quite a fight. She slammed me into a countertop, I slammed her into a wall."

"He's not angry with you. He loves you. You do not have to have told him that you are sorry for him to know. I have been left like that. I know."

"I... want to... want to say yes," and that's a complicated sort of feeling. "But the answer is no. Because I don't think I can derive any actual comfort from it. Already saying these things makes me feel overwhelmed enough that it's going to take awhile to recover from before I'm going to want to see you again," which implies that yes. She does want to see Yelena again, and that surprises her. "But I do, actually, appreciate the offer. For what that's worth."

She looks quietly amused at the retelling of the encounter with her sister, because even without knowing much about their relationship at all, it somehow seems fitting. "Our lives are so tangled up in violence that we can't even-" a sigh out.

"I know. But it's that... lack of ability to reconcile now. The feeling that he is better off without me. How lost I feel lost without his guidance, without him here to tell me that things are okay. He's the only thing that kept me feeling secure and functional."

A complicated feeling, but also one that makes sense. "I figured that would be the answer. I understand." In circumstances like this, yes and no were both equally good answers to receive, in her opinion. Difficulty came in when it was maybes.

Quiet amusement was good, but what was there to say to that, really? It was true, and, comfortable as the violence could be, it sucked. None of that was going to be news, or needed to be said again. A small sound of (judgmental) agreement would have to do.

"From what else you have said, I think he would be very bothered to hear you say he is better off. I am guessing, but I think he would argue." For the rest... "Missing people really fucking sucks. I'm sorry."

"He'd argue," Ava agrees. "And he'd manage to convince me. Because he always does. Because I want it to he true, that I deserve his help and his love. But without him here to say it..." it's hard to fully feel it in his absence, a hypothetical love she'll never receive again. She nods, it fucking sucks.

"When he's not here to convince me to take care of myself, it's... difficult. To feel motivated."

"I don't think love is a matter of deserving. I'm not sure I think anyone does deserve that, aside from children and animals. Certainly at least most of the people I love do not deserve it." Yelena pauses, frowns, and then shakes her head.

"That is the opposite of helpful. Disregard that. I only know people like us. I am sure to him the vast majority of people do deserve it, and you most of all. I'm no good at motivation, either. Revenge, spite, hunger, that's all I've really got."

"What would he say?"

"I had revenge and spite, but there's nowhere to direct it here," Ava admits. Not at anyone, or against anything meaningful. The one bit of determination she had fizzled up. "And I perhaps ignore hunger more than I should."

She thinks about it for a long moment, about all the words of wisdom and encouragement Bill had shared with her over the years. And shrugs. "I don't know. A lot of what he's said doesn't feel applicable in the situation. He'd tell me that he's always there for me, but he's not now. He'd tell me not to give up, because we're so close to figuring out a cure. But. I'm not dying anymore. So I think maybe he'd tell me. Now that I don't have to fight to survive, I can just live." A frown. "But for what?"

For what. It's a good question, and difficult to answer. "It's a shame you did not meet the 2018 version of me. I was so much better at selling it then."

"I don't know." Well, that sucks to say in this context of total truth, even if she isn't done yet. "Sometimes I have used silly, small reasons. I want one more really good breakfast, I have not pet enough dogs yet, things like that. 'Because that awful woman will be even more obnoxious and bothersome otherwise,' you can use that one. Or because it is the natural next step in 'refusing to die,' which is very badass, by the way. Because why not. Because, even if it is terrifying to try to have a life and not be miserable, or at least be less miserable, was that not the whole point of fighting to survive to this point?"

"I haven't pet any dogs," Ava frowns, because it hadn't seemed like anything all that important until she realizes just how sad it sounds aloud. Only dogs she ever encountered were guard dogs at various facilities.

"All I wanted was to stop hurting. Now I have no idea what I want. I don't have any goals, things to overcome. No grudges to hold onto. Except you. I think about how much you annoy me all the time."

"You have never pet a dog?" This is the most horrified Yelena has looked in this entire conversation, even though they have definitely both mentioned much, much sadder things. "I am so sorry, that is awful. You have to fix that."

The last bit is surprising as well, albeit differently. She has to put significant effort into not laughing, and only mostly manages it. It isn't malicious or mocking, just disbelieving. "All the time? If not for the honesty thing, I would accuse you of trying to flatter me."

But more seriously: "I don't understand why. I don't mean why I annoy you, I understand that, I am annoying even when I am not being an asshole and I was being an asshole the first two times we met, but I don't know why you would think about a single thing I said for more than five minutes after I left. Maybe eight, when I left the spoon behind. I really was not trying to rub anything in."

"Don't know where any dogs are. So it is difficult to fix. But also the idea of it makes me a bit nervous." She knows dogs are meant to be friendly, but she always gets the sense they'll detect something off about her. That they have some innate ability to tell when somebody is rotten inside.

"There's no flattery intended," Ava reassures. "I don't understand why either. It's just. Something about you. The way you speak. Move. The things you say. Like I'm not allowed to ignore you, even if I want to. That I have to respond. You don't make it easy."

A tight frown. "Then why did you leave it? If not to mock me."

"Oh, no, that's an easy one. I will have my dog here soon enough, and then problem solved. She's very calm and quiet and friendly, don't worry."

Hm. She's not sure if that's much clearer, but... "Bad news, it is a bit flattering even if it wasn't intended to be. In any case. Use that, if you want, plot revenge on me. Just don't make it a boring plot, please."

"Seemed like you'd earned it, for having to endure me in the mood I was in those first two times. Although I'd find it hard to believe you didn't enjoy insulting me back at least a little." Yelena shrugged, and added: "Also I do like being confusing, and yes, it was handy to have an excuse to come back."

Edited (rogue thought. adhd. idk, w/e) 2025-01-31 03:57 (UTC)

"That doesn't worry you any, that you can transport a living being into another dimension using a payment system that's derived from complying with behavioral expectations?" Ava asks, because she finds the whole thing disturbing on levels she can't fully articulate.

"I'm not interested in plotting revenge," Ava sighs out tiredly. "Not against you. I spent what I expected to be my last few months of life holding onto a grudge inherited from my father, and pursuing revenge was not as satisfying as I hoped. My family was still just as dead." Ugh.

"Why'd you want to come back?"

That's a complicated question. "If you mean does the actual transportation worry me, no, because I do not feel harmed by it and it was not on the list of things Natasha told me to be concerned about. The currency system here I do think is stupid, but I don't have any more issue with it than I do capitalism. Humans do need to speak to each other, if someone wants to pay me for that, fine. The income is the same whether I am nice or insulting. Being forced into those Trial things is more worrying. And I also originally paid the adoption fees with money I had earned for killing a man, so. Comparatively..." Yelena shrugs. "I would do worse, to have her with me. I am not as worried about being selfish as you are, I'm okay with it."

At least, in this instance. There was a line, somewhere, that she wouldn't want to cross. She just doesn't quite know where it is yet. "But! If you mean do I trust the individual running this universe, no, absolutely fucking not. Extremely suspicious about them and their motivations."

"Well. It seems like you are very good at knowing what you do not want, which is a good start. Really, what made you fight to stay alive until now? Because if all you wanted was to stop being in pain, there were quicker methods available to accomplish that, and permanently, no less. Not that I am saying that would have been a better choice, it wouldn't."

"I enjoyed arguing with you. I thought you were keeping up well, it's more fun when someone bites back, and many people don't. It wasn't about hurting your feelings, I really did not think anything I said would matter at all for more than a minute, at most. And, yes, although I do not think desperate an accurate descriptor, I did enjoy your attention." Another shrug.

"What I mean, mostly. Because it's difficult to mean just one thing in such a complex consideration. Is that the transfer of energy to transport whole living beings across reality has to be... astronomical. That I cannot fully trust that the spoon system is what we're actually paying. That we're digging ourselves into some sort of greater cosmic debt than we know."

Which sounds even more horrific when she hears it aloud.

Ugh.

"So it's less about being selfish, maybe. And more that I do not like signing on the dotted line when I do not know the full terms."

Maybe she's more paranoid than she needs to be, but she's been burnt far too much to trust anybody at face value.

"And sure maybe there were times where I thought about taking the easy escape. But it never seemed fair, to die without actually getting to live first. There's not a whole lot that I've gotten to experience. And maybe I want to do so. But the lack of experience also sets any attempt up for failure. I just don't know how." To be normal, to approach anything casually for the sake of simple enjoyment.

She doesn't even know what she would enjoy, not really. She can find half a dozen reasons why every single thing doesn't appeal to her, or maybe they're just more excuses.

"My attention?" She looks puzzled by that. "Why."

"I see your point." It was a very valid one, and Yelena has to take a good few minutes to turn it over in her head before she answers. She isn't sure if that is a sign the honesty thing is wearing off, or if the honesty thing is just also a little bit stumped by philosophical discussions.

"But do you ever feel like anyone actually told you the full terms, or ever will? I don't. And I am not going to not do anything or not have anything for who knows how long because someone may show up and claim I owe them something, they could do that anyways, for transporting me here in the first place. I will just fight them then."

Comparatively, it's easier to reply to the next bit, although what she's going to say might be fully nonsense. She is winging it, now. No, that is a lie, really, she was always winging it. "You are looking at it all wrong. If the goal is trying something new, and you fail at whatever it is, you have still technically succeeded because you have never failed at doing that thing before."

"Why not?" That should be a good enough answer, in her opinion, but she can feel herself compelled to continue anyways. So much for wearing off. "Attention can be nice. It can also be horrible, obviously, but. And you're interesting. Like a little hedgehog made up of contradictions. That is not meant to be an insult."

She shakes her head in response, because no, she doesn't think they'll ever have the benefit of fully understanding the purpose they were brought here for, or the actual cost of it until the bill comes due. But that's life, isn't it. Here or back home or any of the other worlds anyone is from, there's never any actual up front user agreements and fully laid out terms to existence. Just a lot of blind guesswork on how to navigate through it. She just gives a small snort at Yelena claiming she'd fight them. "Yeah, good luck."

But she does consider Yelena's advice with only the slightest hint of skepticism twisting at her mouth. "I'm only listening because you're one of the few people I know that's been through some variation of stunted life experience as I have," Ava admits, because coming from anyone else she'd be far less open. "But I suppose that's a fair perspective. And I'll keep it in mind." Which apparently isn't just her saying it in appeasement, even if she feels half-hearted about it all.

"A hedgehog," Ava repeats, clearly baffled. But she supposes they're spiny little creatures that don't appreciate being messed with. "Guess that's not the worst thing I've been called." And they're kinda cute. "I don't think I'm all that interesting, though. Outside of my powers. That's the only thing anyone ever cares to notice about me."

Despite the snort, Yelena is going to accept that good luck as if it were entirely sincere. There must be a seed of honesty in it, after all, but mostly she just finds it more amusing if she treats it as dead serious. "Thank you."

Yeah, that is fair. That's really the only reason they are having this conversation still anyways, as well, truth curse or not. "So because you cannot just directly tell me I am full of shit. That's fine. I am still going to count that as a success." Also partially calling it a success because continuing to be annoying about it was now on her to do list, though.

Yelena rolls her eyes. "I can honestly tell you I could not give any less of a shit about your weird little talent for intangibility."

Well the forced honesty comes mostly from the belief that Yelena would need it. And maybe a bit of not wanting Yelena to outright fail, for whatever reason she doesn't want to explore, even against impossible odds. So yes, luck is all there's left.

"Well, I assume you've had to go through a lot of this yourself. Figuring out who you really are, what you really want, what to even do with your spare time now that it's actually yours to have. What to wear..." Ava frowns, because she's still wearing the exact same underlayer of her Ghost suit that she arrived in, and it's the same one issued to her before SHIELD had gone under. And not because she likes it, just because there's a comfort in the familiarity. "But I've been far too sick up until now, to have the energy to do much else. And now that I'm not actively dying I... I don't know. I thought it'd fix me and I still feel so broken."

She tilts her head, as if she's trying to tell if Yelena is telling the truth despite the fact she has to be, then sighs. "Not even a little?"

"You assume correct. It is not a quick process, I'm sorry to tell you. Although maybe it will be easier in a place with less apocalypse events and work to do. I have not arranged things to have a lot of spare time before this, and I don't think I have made very much process on the who I really am question."

There has to be a way to sound not so hopeless about this, and still be honest. Yelena exhales, heavy. "But. What you want can be a little bit easier and like I said, figuring out what you don't want is a good start. Anything you do not want is an option off the list. Most of the rest you have to try, to know if you like it or not. I - well, we - fit as much of that as we could around freeing other widows, in those couple years between coming back to myself and the blip, but there is so much to try. What to wear, that is a fun one. You want softness but not touching people, you should start with that one. There are so many soft fabrics. None of it... oh, it is so strange to be giving a version of this talk to someone who is not a widow. None of it fully gets rid of the broken feeling. There have been short stretches I almost forgot for a little bit, though."

There's something simultaneously funny, sad, and almost sweet, about Ava asking for confirmation on that. "Not even a little. There is a new super person every five seconds, it has gotten so boring. Sorry. To me, that does not earn you any special points at all." Shrug.

"Less?" Ava responds doubtfully. "I've been told this place can be quite a nightmare, by those that have been around longer." Which makes it feel difficult to trust that any reprieve isn't just to lull them into a false sense of security before the next... Trial, whatever those may entail. She's still not sure what to expect, based on the mixed sorts of responses she's heard.

"The one thing I don't want, most of all, is feeling obligated or expected or pushed to do anything. I do want to feel as if it's my own choice. And it's difficult to feel that way when there's incentives attached to it. I think that's why I... stole those spoons that I did. Because I wanted to earn them my own way, rather than through the system designed to condition me into behaviors deemed desirable. That and these interactions genuinely exhaust me." But not enough to ask Yelena to go, not yet. Because as much as she hates this, it is good to honestly confront these things about herself.

"Yeah. I suppose I am boring. But you've barely even seen the things that I can do yet."

"Less apocalyptic, specifically. I am sure the Trials will be plenty nightmarish, especially if things like this do not even count as a trial, but if it is certain the world is not actually going to end, that changes things."

Yelena nods. "That is an entirely valid perspective to take on it. It does itch, the system that is set up here. But... Control is not just someone making you do things you don't want to do, you know? It is also them stopping you from doing things you would, or at least might, do. If I decide not to bring my dog here because that might be what this entity wants me to do, I am still making my decision based on its wants instead of mine. That does not feel any better. If you stay lonely because this force likes making people talk to each other... I don't know. It does not sound like any degree of freedom."

"Firstly, I did not say you were boring. I said that one specific thing does not make you interesting to me. Those are different statements. I have already told you that I do find you interesting. Secondly, now you do want me to be impressed by it? That was a quick change."

"I stay lonely because I know how to be lonely. I know I can't mess that up," Ava sighs, picking at the thumb hole in her sleeve. "I don't have the best luck with people, and I get frustrated when they misunderstand what I mean, or I misunderstand their intentions, and then we just get upset at each other and I feel worse off than if I had just kept to myself. I don't feel like I'm making any progress. I don't feel as if anyone actually benefits from being around me, or that I'm good company. And it's not a problem I'm willing to fix for the benefit of others, to be more enjoyable." And so the whole things feels like a lost cause from the start.

"No, I'm not asking you to be impressed. I'm telling you that you're very likely underestimating the full extent of my capabilities."

Truth Meme

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