i dont know if it's worse to be wanted, or unwanted. even if you were able to go through the motions with a partner, did you actually enjoy it? how do you find fulfillment to engage, when alone? what is there to stimulate desire?
i cant pretend otherwise. there's wires crossed. when somebody is trying to get close, it's instinctual, reflexive, to want to inflict harm rather than feel vulnerable. somebody tried to kiss me. and i bit him.
Re: cw autonomy trauma, blanket for probably the rest of the thread tbh
even if you were able to go through the motions with a partner, did you actually enjoy it?
how do you find fulfillment to engage, when alone? what is there to stimulate desire?
i cant pretend otherwise. there's wires crossed.
when somebody is trying to get close, it's instinctual, reflexive, to want to inflict harm rather than feel vulnerable.
somebody tried to kiss me. and i bit him.