texts from folkmore; tffm

[folkie]

Texts From Last Night

Welcome to Folkmore's Texts From Last Night meme! This meme can be used as a branch off from our Test Drive Memes and be used as game canon or just for casual fun in the setting! You do not need to be in our game or be invited to play on our TFLN. This can be a great way to meet current players for future invites, get a feel for the setting, or just have some fun.

This can be used for samples on our applications and used as spoons for players accepted into the game!

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT GENERATOR

Comments

[white_widow]

I did not want to be accused of escalating when I am not supposed to again.

She is not materialistic, you do not need to bring something, but I do have treats here that you can offer if you really want to do a bribe. I very sincerely doubt she will see you as a threat, because she will be able to tell I don't.

[decohere]

theres a difference between vulgar language and insinuating things. it's how you apply it.

i don't think animals really like the way that i... move wrong. spooks them. but if treats makes the process easier.

[white_widow]

Okay, I follow. That's a shame. Insinuating things is so much fun.

Ah. But you have not interacted with a dog before, yes? And she is used to some unusual things, so even if that is an issue at first, I think we will be able to get past it.
Treats always make the process easier.

[decohere]

you can insinuate about anybody else, just not me.

not close up no. i left guard dogs alone. i figured they did not count in the 'no witnesses' parameters.
does she jump up? lick faces? i want to know what behaviors to anticipate so i do not (over)react in surprise.

[white_widow]

I am going to leave that alone.

She does not jump up without permission. I did not really want to train her too much, but she is mostly around people like us, so it was necessary. She will be polite.

[decohere]

theres a little bird meme that goes 'i am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?'
except the opposite.

understandable, training tends to have a different connotation with... our sort.
is there anywhere she does not prefer to be touched or ways in which she does not like to be approached? particular phrases or sounds?

[white_widow]

That is fair, honestly. I do not blame you.

She does not like men or birds. Other than not, no. Thank you very much for asking.

[decohere]

did any of the other widows... have these issues?

your father must be deeply saddened by this.

cw, allusion to sa

[white_widow]

If you mean discomfort, yes, most if not all of us. If you mean inexperience, we were not given that luxury.

They have not been introduced.

[decohere]

the only 'talks' i received was from a scientist awkwardly giving me tampons with no further instruction, and an agent telling me that on no uncertain terms was i to fraternize with the targets.
but i saw nature documentaries when i was young so i knew about the whole how babies were made thing anyway.

ah. well i doubt dogs can be fooled with a wig.
i do look forward to meeting her, even if i'm a little apprehensive.

[white_widow]

[For a change, a reply is started and then stopped a few times.]
I am willing to continue having this conversation with you, but I think we have reached a point where I cannot do so via this little device. I understand if the impersonal nature of doing it this way is the only reason you are comfortable to do so, but because of that I can't.

No, it would take a bit more than that. That does make me wonder, though. Anyways, the Alexei that is here is from around the same time as you, so he doesn't even know I have a dog yet.
I assumed if you didn't want to, you would have told me to fuck off by now.

[decohere]

then we will not discuss it further. because there does not appear to be a way for us to do so comfortably.

is he dead, in your present time? like your sister. sorry, i only ask because i wonder if that means i am as well.

cw allusion to forced sterilization

[white_widow]

[Ugh.]
I will adjust.
Those things were also not really concerns for us.

No, he is alive.

[decohere]

no. this is not something i want you to force yourself through for my sake.
it's my own mess to figure out.

oh. that's good. guess it doesn't matter if i am or not, anyway.

[white_widow]

I am not forcing myself. I am looking at the options available and choosing the one with some discomfort because that is what I want to do. Please let me.

I'm sorry I cannot answer that question for you.

[decohere]

can i at least ask why your preference to discuss this face to face?
maybe if i understand i can do my best to accommodate in return.

it's fine. there is irrelevant to my way forward here.

[white_widow]

That is fair.
It feels impersonal. Discussing these things with a person is one thing. With a screen... It feels disconnected. Less real.

I guess that is true.

[decohere]

i acknowledge the importance of this to you. if being more direct helps ease that disconnect, i will attempt to do so.

discussing my discomfort with intimacy is difficult without that barrier. i feel safer to say things i might not otherwise, without being... on the spot. because of the nature of my issues, letting my guard down enough to be fully honest with myself as well as you, is easier achieved if i have space.

we can proceed. if we both are in agreement of trying to be respectful and willing to be honest and mindful about boundaries.

[white_widow]

I understand why that would be the case for you. I can see why it helps.

We can proceed. I do prefer bluntness over euphemisms for myself, but I do not think it makes much of a difference for me which you use. Any other lines you would like to draw now?

[decohere]

maybe not a line, but to be clear of my goal: i am not looking for corrective actions at this point. but to maybe reach some level of... i don't know. feeling less threatened by the entire topic.

this isn't even fully about sex. my body hasn't felt like much of my own for a long time. i don't know anyone else who can even relate to that.

[white_widow]

That is useful to know, I will keep that in mind.

Yes, I know what you mean. It is a difficult feeling to get rid of, especially if you are trying at the same time to also stop thinking of yourself or your body as an object that someone or something has ownership over.

cw autonomy trauma

[decohere]

the language surrounding sex and relationship dynamics tend to convey ideas such as ownership, a woman's body as a thing to be acted upon and taken from. i do not like the idea of anyone viewing me with that intent.

but it's as if i'm allowing shield to still own me. as if their instruction of don't prevents me from taking back control.

and the deeper fear is that i am simply too damaged to be... involved.

cw autonomy trauma, blanket for probably the rest of the thread tbh

[white_widow]

I understand. Just the word 'want' alone usually implies some sort of taking, in any context. The first time I engaged in such behavior after the control it was much less about any desire to have sex and more about the desire to prove I could choose to if I wanted. And I am not yet in a place - well, honestly, I do not expect that I will ever be in a place that my choices in that area of my life are made entirely free of the influence of the past.

I do not think you damaged, for whatever that is worth. I think this, waiting and choosing not to engage, a logical reaction to the circumstances. That is where some of us landed and stayed. Others could not seek out physical pleasure quickly enough. For me, the desire is something heavily compartmentalized and rarely acted on with another person involved.

Re: cw autonomy trauma, blanket for probably the rest of the thread tbh

[decohere]

i dont know if it's worse to be wanted, or unwanted.
even if you were able to go through the motions with a partner, did you actually enjoy it?
how do you find fulfillment to engage, when alone? what is there to stimulate desire?

i cant pretend otherwise. there's wires crossed.
when somebody is trying to get close, it's instinctual, reflexive, to want to inflict harm rather than feel vulnerable.
somebody tried to kiss me. and i bit him.

[white_widow]

There was... satisfaction in it. It did what I needed it too, in the moment. And there was some variety of enjoyment in using my hands to illicit different reactions than usual.
Which is also one of the answers to that next question. Sometimes there is just an itch to do so, that I do not know where it comes from, either physical or mental.

I see.
Did you want to want to kiss him?